relief. sweet relief.

so...just got back from my doctors appointment. all is well! thankfully! the doctor was stinking awesome-he had a medicine bag! he performed a lot of small tests and did a very thorough evaluation. his conclusions were that nothing serious was happening and that this was a chemical thing going on in my brain-which an MRI couldn't show. basically, when you go-go-go all the time your brain is working super hard to mantain this schedule you have on your life. you have plans and duties and your brain works super hard to make sure you remember them and complete each task efficiently. well-the moment that the brain has time to relax and 'breathe' it stops working as hard as it was and gets a little careless. hence the problems accuring a lot while i'm at my apartment and not out-and-about. also, these problems can be made worse and more apparant by the amount of daily stress.

so-i'm so blessed. i'll never know if there was something there that the Lord removed or if there never was. all i know is the Lord has blessed me. and that is all that matters. He is still just as good :). the appointment made me consider my life a lot. the things i believe the Lord has made for me to do in this life shouldn't bring me stress, they should be relievers of stress. they should bring me complete joy, but why is it i spend the majority of my time stressing and going-going-going from task to task? i think it is time to really look at finding true, complete joy in the Lord in every task i have before me. what does that even look like? i'm not even that sure. whether it be school, work, or relationships it should be all focused on the Lord and the blessing that He is wanting to use me in those situations. so-i need to cut some stress. actually, the things i 'have' to do, should be viewed as things i 'get' to do. all because Jesus wants to use me, grow me, and impact His kingdom. perspective change 101.